


blow them down

by thisstableground



Series: Main Timeline ITH Fics [4]
Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Gen, not shippy because they're only babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisstableground/pseuds/thisstableground
Summary: Eight-year-old Vanessa intends to spend the afternoon sulking alone in the park. Nine-year-old Usnavi has the same idea.[short companion piece forrise to me, recommend that you read that first.]





	blow them down

**Author's Note:**

> for a prompt from tumblr user kikabennet who asked for a fic of lil Usnavi crying in the park during the events of rise to me, and lil Vanessa coming to play on the swings and cheer him up. This is set shortly after he asks his parents to pull him from special ed the first time, when they don't really understand the depth of his feeling about it.
> 
> Slight content warnings for referenced/internalised ableism and references to Vanessa's mom being neglectful, but it doesn't get too intense.

Vanessa’s eight years old, and she don’t need an adult to walk her to the park, and she don’t need anyone else there other than herself. It’s the only place she can go where nobody’s gonna bother her: Nina and her mom are great but it makes Vanessa feel wrong sometimes to be there when she knows it’s not really her family. Dani is awesome but it always makes problems between Dani and Vanessa’s mom when she finds out Vanessa’s been out by herself. The De la Vegas would probably give her free candy if she went to the store but then they always make it into such a  _thing_  and she doesn’t want it to be a thing. Abuela might be in but she’d have to pass all the stores and someone would almost certainly catch her before she got there. 

Her mom isn’t home from work for ages yet, so Vanessa gets home from school, makes herself a sandwich, and once she’s finished that she gets her sneakers on and heads out to where nobody’s gonna ask her any annoying questions.

At first glance around the play area it seems perfect: on a grey and nearly-rainy day like today it’s too cold for most people to be out. She climbs up to the top of the jungle gym to survey her land, and finds with furious disappointment that it’s not so perfect as she thought: a hunched little figure in a red hoodie is sitting on over one of the swings. It’s Usnavi De la Vega.

Vanessa scowls, rushing over to the slide so she can get down there and give him a piece of her mind for intruding on her alone time. He’s not supposed to be here when she wants to play on her own and be grouchy. Usnavi’s too happy and bubbly for this kind of day. He’s like Tigger from the Winnie-the-Pooh videos she used to watch when she was a little kid, bouncing right into everyone and singing a lot and all knocking stuff over everywhere. 

Except — she slows down as she notices — right now he looks more like Eeyore, actually: he’s not even swinging properly, with his head leaning against one of the thick metal chains, rocking his heels up and down so he sways disconsolately. Getting closer she can see his shoulders move in an odd jerky way, and he scrubs at his face with his sleeve.

Oh. Vanessa makes a face to herself. People crying makes her uncomfortable. Vanessa almost never cries. She remembers very distantly before they started school and used to see each other all the time because their parents or Abuela would watch them as a group along with Nina, and Usnavi definitely cried all time back then at the slightest thing. Abuela would always say its because he has a very sensitive soul.  Only that was ages ago when she was four and Usnavi was five, so they were both still babies really. Now Vanessa’s old enough to go to the park on her own and she’s too old to cry. Usnavi’s older than Vanessa, and he cusses like a teenager, and he’s  _always_  happy. 

She should stay out of it and go back to the jungle gym on the other side of the play area and just ignore him, but curiosity gets the better of her. Sidling up as casually as possible, she leans against the swingset pole closest to Usnavi. He sees her but doesn’t say hey or anything, which is rude so she skips pleasantries too, like for like.

“Why you cryin’? she asks, bluntly.

“I’m not,” Usnavi says, wiping tears off his face again.

“Are too,” Vanessa insists. “Tell me why. Did you fall down or somethin’?”

“No.”

“Did you have a fight with Benny? Is that why you’re by yourself?”

“No! What’s with all the damn questions? Why do you care what I’m doin’?”

“I don’t care!” she says. “I’m just  _askin’_. No reason I can’t just be askin’, it’s a free country. If you didn’t fight with Benny, how come you’re here without him? You ain’t supposed to be out on your own.”

“Why not?  _You_  are, and you’re littler than me.”

“No I ain’t!” Usnavi’s really short. If his hair wasn’t so sticky-up probably he’d barely be any taller than Vanessa. “Not by very much.”

“I’m older.”

“Girls are more mature,” Vanessa says haughtily. “Your dad always says when he walks me home from the store how I ain’t old enough to go wandering about on my own because it’s dangerous, so I know they don’t let you without Benny or someone else there too.”

“Pueeees…they changed their minds?” Usnavi says. “I’m way more grown up now.”

“You’re lyin’,” Vanessa accuses. “You’re not meant to be here, are you? You snuck out! You so did, I’m gonna tell your parents right now, and I bet they say you’re lyin’.”

She makes like she’s gonna storm off towards the store. Usnavi jumps up to grab at her arm.

“No, no!” he says. “Don’t, okay? I told ‘em I was goin’ to Benny’s after school today and then I came here instead so I could be on my own.”

Vanessa nods in approval. That’s what she always says too, that she’s going to Nina’s, and her mom never checks up. She’s begrudgingly impressed that Usnavi thought of the same tactic, and that he had the nerve to actually go through with it.

Usnavi clasps both his hands together like he’s praying. “You can’t tell on me, Vanessa, por favor, I’ll do anythin’!”

He looks even more upset now. Vanessa feels kinda bad about it. She sits on the swing next to his, points her toes out in front of her and admits, “I wasn’t gonna anyway, I just said I would so you’d tell me why you was here.”

Usnavi sits back down on his own swing seat and pushes himself with his feet still on the floor so he goes in a gentle, preoccupied circle. 

“Vanessa,” he says, very quietly, “do…do you think it’s possible to be sad forever? Like if you get sad for long enough you forget how to be happy again?”

“No sé,” Vanessa says, taken aback by the question. “Maybe? Forever’s really long away, even longer than Christmas.”

“I was just gonna stay here til I felt better, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel better.” Usnavi gives the heaviest sigh Vanessa’s heard in her whole life, and adds in a sullen mutter, “Bet my parents wouldn’t even  _care_ if I lived at the park for always anyway _.”_

“Are you fighting with them?” she asks apprehensively, thinking about all the times she’s run away to the park after an argument and waited for someone to find her before getting bored or cold and going home herself, and how much it sucks. The De la Vegas are always really nice to her: the idea of Mateo and Rosa not caring if Usnavi disappeared or yelling at him makes her feel strange and betrayed, like that time when her and Nina were six and they saw the mall Santa they’d just visited punch a security guard.

“I guess so,” Usnavi says. “I don’t know. Nobody yelled so maybe not, it’s just…everything’s all screwed up. Mamá promised me somethin’ and then went back on it.”

“Oh, is that all?” Vanessa says. “My mom breaks promises all the time. Was it like you asked for a toy or somethin’? I bet she forgot and spent all the money on cigarettes instead. Moms are like that.”

Usnavi frowns. “My mamá doesn’t smoke. And it wasn’t a toy. She promised if anyone was bein’ mean to me she’d help me if I told her about it. Then I told her, and she  _didn’t_.”

Vanessa sits up straighter. “Who’s bein’ mean to you?” she demands. Usnavi’s silly and really weird but he’s nice, too, and Vanessa doesn’t like bullies. “Is it those kids what made you break your wrist last year? Me and Nina and Benny will sort ‘em out for you, I’ll break  _all_  their wrists.”

Usnavi shakes his head and after a moment of uncertainty, he pushes his swing closer to hers so he can whisper like it’s a secret, “it’s a teacher.”

“Ohhh,” Vanessa says, with a sympathetic hiss. That’s a lot harder to deal with.

“I had to get a new teacher because of how I ain’t clever enough to be in with the normal kids,” Usnavi says, swinging back away from her and holding one of the chains so tightly with both hands that his knuckles go white. “She’s scary, and she hates me. She always talks in this nice-person voice and pretends she’s friendly but everything she says is tellin’ me off and sayin’ I’m all wrong in the head, and I don’t like doing quiet hands or when they put me in the time-out room, and…and I tried to tell Mama and Pai, pero they won’t do anything because they want me to be smarter so I’m  _never_ gonna get out and it’s the  _worst.”_

Then he starts crying again, a lot louder this time. Oh man, Vanessa’s in way too deep here, she did not come to the park for this at all. It’s real tempting to just walk away, but then she remembers last year when some idiot boy was messing with Nina’s books how Usnavi threw himself in there straight away to defend her even though he was way smaller than the guy, and also how he’s always happy to see Vanessa even when she’s cranky, and how it ain’t fair that someone might be mean to him just ‘cause he ain’t clever when he’s pretty okay as a person otherwise. And nobody ever listens when you say it’s an adult what did something wrong, because you’re just a kid. If even the De la Vegas don’t believe him then at least Vanessa can be on his side.

“Your teacher sounds like a jerk,” she says. “We could egg her car.”

Usnavi just shakes his head, and makes a squeaky, miserable noise. Vanessa kicks her legs out, trying to think of what else might help.

“I get sad sometimes too,” she tells him, in a low confidential tone in case anyone’s eavesdropping. Usnavi’s tears quiet down a little as he tilts his head towards her with interest. “Real sad. Or angry. Or both. That’s why I come to the park by myself as well, so I can feel bad without anyone gettin’ in my way.”

“You do?” He wrinkles up his eyebrows thoughtfully. His face is all splotchy and wet, but Vanessa decides it’s probably not the time to say so. “Mierda, does that mean I’m in your way right now?”

“Nah, s’okay,”  she says, even though he kind of is. “I ain’t sad always, so I think it won’t be forever for you either, even if it is a really long time. ‘Cause, like, I don’t like living with Mom but it’s not all bad, I got Nina and as soon as we can we’re gonna move out and live together in a huge awesome house, so I just think about that and it makes me feel better.” She thinks about it and adds, generously, “you can come with us, if you want.”

“For real?” Usnavi says, followed by a gross wet sniffle. “I won’t have to go to school any more?”

“Nope,” she says. “Nina’s gonna graduate super early and go to college, but I’m gonna leave school and…I dunno what I’m gonna do, but I’ll be earnin’ stacks. I’ll own a company or somethin’, I bet. Me and Nina will buy the house and you can just do all the chores we don’t want to and make us dinner every night, ‘cause we’ll be tired from work and you got all the food at the bodega.”

“I can only make pop-tarts really,” Usnavi says, “and café con leche, my pai taught me how and I’m gettin’ real good at that. Is that okay?”

“Well,” Vanessa says, deliberating, “I do like pop tarts. I don’t drink coffee but that’s only ‘cause I’m not an adult, prob’ly when I am I’ll drink lots of it. Yeah, you can make us coffee every day.”

Usnavi brightens up, wiggling in his seat. “Oh! Can Benny live with us? He’s got lots of videos and CDs he can bring so we won’t get bored. And can Sonny come too?”

“I  _guess_  Benny can come, but only if he promises to be cool. Nina says how her dad says he’s always in trouble, I don’t want him messin’ my house up with shenanigans. And you gotta look after Sonny if you bring him, ‘cause I’m too busy for babies and I ain’t changin’ no diapers.”

“I’ll keep ‘em both in line,” Usnavi confirms. Evidently his mood’s lifted, because he kicks off from the ground to start swinging high. Vanessa nods to herself, proud of how she obviously managed to fix this situation despite feeling like she doesn’t really understand it, then tries to copy Usnavi’s movement to get her own swing going, without much luck.

Usnavi looks over at her attempts and brakes by dragging a foot on the floor. “Don’t you know how to swing by yourself, Vanessa?” he asks as he slows.

“So what if I don’t?” she retorts, feeling herself go hot with embarrassment.

“Didn’t mean nothin’ by it,” he says hastily, holding up both hands. “I just meant, you want me to teach you? S’only fair, if you’re lettin’ me live in your house and all.”

She squints at him to see if he’s making fun of her, but he seems sincere enough.

“…Alright, es un trato,” she says. “How do I do it?”

“What you gotta do is this with your legs,” he says, pushing himself off again. “Stretch ‘em out goin’ frontwards, and put ‘em under goin back. Nada de esto.”

Vanessa watches him go a few more times, stretching and curling her legs in time with his to get the rhythm, but when she tries it moving, she doesn’t get anywhere and has to keep kicking her feet against the floor every pass.

“It didn’t work,” she says, frustrated. “How come I can’t do it?”

“No te preocupes,” Usnavi reassures her. “You got the leg thing almost right, maybe you just need a bit more speed to start off with. I’ll push you.”

Once he’s given her some altitude Usnavi steps aside. Vanessa finds herself losing speed almost immediately. Usnavi says “oh, ¡me olvidó! You should be leanin’ back when the swing goes forward, and then lean forward when it goes back.”

“Like this?” She does it a few times, muttering under her breath to remind herself when to move where, and this time the momentum holds. “Oh! ¡Mira!”

Usnavi punches the air with both hands and yells “¡Wepa!”

Encouraged, she tries stretching her legs out even more on the next forward movement, leaning back as far as she dares, and suddenly she’s going higher than she’s ever gone before, laughing in astonished glee. It’s fun to have someone push you but it’s so much better to know how to get there yourself, and without the interruption of hands thudding against her back she feels just exactly like she’s flying.

Usnavi’s watching from the ground, grinning all over his face. She skids to a halt with her sneakers scraping the floor, breathless with joy. “I did it! Usnavi, I did it, did you see how high I went?!”

“Hell yeah I saw!” Usnavi says, clapping and bouncing then freezing and tucking his hands into his pockets with a grimace. “Oh, sorry.”

Vanessa’s too giddy with her own achievement to bother asking why he’s apologising. “Hey, so how do I make it go if nobody’s pushing me to start off? Show me again, show me!”

“¡Vale vale vale!” Usnavi says, immediately smiling bright again, clapping even more excitedly and jumping back onto his own swing. “This is a bit harder so don’t worry if you don’t get it first time, it’s real easy once you get the hang of it.”

They play for a long time, after the swings on the slides and Vanessa on the monkey bars — Usnavi doesn’t know how to do them, so she offers to show him, but he says he’ll probably fall off and break something and elects to just cheer her on from the ground — until the cloudy sky gets even greyer, a telltale chill in the breeze making them both shiver. A few warning drops spatter lightly against Vanessa’s face.

“I guess we’d better get going, huh?” she says, reluctantly dropping down from the last rung of the bars as she reaches it.

“Guess so,” Usnavi says, sounding disappointed. “I’ll walk you back.”

“I don’t need-“

“Yeah, I know, you don’t need me to,” he says making a crazy tongue-out face, “but uh…it means it’ll take longer for me to get home, so.”

Ah. Vanessa gets that. “Okay then. You can walk with me.”

They head back through the streets, the rain coming down more insistent now and people rushing to get wherever they’re going away from the imminent downpour. Usnavi takes her hand to keep from losing her in the hubbub as they pass by the busy subway exit, and she thinks about complaining because it’s not like she couldn’t easily find her own way back if they got separated, but she decides to let it lie just this once. He lets go her hand when they get to her building and looks at her, putting one of his hoodie strings in his mouth, and he says, “um, so…about all what I said, uh…”

Vanessa says “it’s okay, I won’t tell anyone how you cried or nothin’. Or that you were out on your own when you weren’t meant to be. I’m not a snitch.”

“Not even Nina? She’ll tell her mom, and her mom will tell Mamá, and then I'll be in the shit with her.”

Vanessa holds out her pinky.

Usnavi looks supremely relieved as they swear on it, and then, to her surprise, squeezes her in a very brief but very grateful hug. “Gracias, Vanessa! Okay gotta go see you bye!” he shouts, already running off down the street before she has time to say anything.

Vanessa shrugs and heads inside. It wasn’t really how she expected the afternoon to go, but all things considered, she thinks she wouldn’t really mind if Usnavi got in her way again every once in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> [come [ tumblr](https://thisstableground.tumblr.com/) with me]


End file.
